dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
