wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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