Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
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