sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize
