What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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