I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
