I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
