Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
