I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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