This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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