this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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