"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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