Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
