i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
