Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
