i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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