After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
