similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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