I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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