i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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