And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
