I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
