so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
