Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
