So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
