I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
