addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
