There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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