I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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