I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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