Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
