Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
