I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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