Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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