I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
