Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
