Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
