I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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