Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
