At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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