I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
