The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
