careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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