I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize