At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
