I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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