Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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