im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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