So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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