first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize