you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
