Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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