singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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