i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
