why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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