Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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