I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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